JTHM and Naruto: Nny and Gaara BFF?
by NamineElric00
Summary: When Johnny the Homicidal Maniac meets his new best friend!
1. Chapter 1 NnyGaara BFF?

I do not JTHM or Naruto, but enjoy anyway!!

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----Chapter 1. Nny + Gaara ???---- 

Gaara woke up, he relied that he was pinned up against the wall, from by his arms and legs. "Huh? Where am I?"

"So...you're awake?" said a long slim figure, just approaching Gaara. "Finally!" Out came out a strange dressed boy, he was rather pale. "I was running out of blood for my wall, and I needed more, good thing I ran into you." Gaara stared coldly at this guy, as he giggled.

"Who are you?" Gaara asked, straggling a little.

"Me? Well, I'm Johnny C. but you can call me Nny, Who are you?"

"What does it matter, you don't need to know my name."

"Really? How else are we gonna be friends then?"

"Friends, but aren't you gonna kill me?"

"I like to get know my victims, before I kill them." The boy Nny grinned in a sweet/creepy way.

"I'm Gaara," He replied, Nny's grin grew bigger.

"Oooh! Gaara sounds like an interesting name." said Johnny, "You will be interesting to kill, but like I said, I might as well get to know you better."

Nny went ahead and told Gaara about himself, and about the Styrofoam things that talk to him, and about his comic, _Happy Noodle Boy_.

"Now tell me about you," said Nny, as he grabbed himself a chair and sat down on it. He rested his chin upon the back of his hand.

"Hm?"

"Come on! Tell me, before I kill you!" Gaara sighed, and told him all about his childhood, his mom, his sand, where he was born, and his brother and sister, Kankuro and Temari.

"That all seems _very_ interesting!" said Nny, as he got up from his chair, "But unfortunately I got to kill you now..." Nny got out a hatchet from some closet full of weapons and torture tools.

"But you can't." said Gaara,

"Why not?"

"My sand, it will not let you, it will block every move you make."

"Oi?" Nny raised the hatchet and swinged it towards Gaara's head, but the sand just bounced it back to the floor. "The fuck?" Nny got some other weapon and flinged to Gaara, ending up with the same result. He tried everything to kill Gaara, but the sand would just bounced it back to the ground.

"Dude!" Johnny said, "That's amazing! I would give anything just to get that power!" Nny smiled warmly to Gaara, till he got a devious idea. "Wait a minute, you said that you kill people too, right?"

"That is correct," said Gaara, Nny began to giggle alot, that then turn into laughs. "Do you know what this means?" said Nny, between laughs.

Gaara shook his head, Nny came close to him. "We, both of us, can kill together."

"Kill together?"

"Why not! I'm mean, we're both invincible!" Nny began to pace and mumble for a bit, "We can kill as a team, as a..." Nny's eyes widen, he turned to Gaara, "As BFF's!"

"BFF?" Gaara's face turned into a puzzled look, "As in Best friends...

Nny's face came close to Gaara's enough for them to be touching noses. "_Forever_!!"

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Well that's it, end of Chapter 1 hope you like it! 


	2. Chapter 2 Meeting the crew

I do not own JTHM and Naruto, now enjoy the damn story!

----Chapter 2, Meeting the crew----

"Forever?" Gaara questioned, as Johnny and him were now at the place called Taco Smell, eating tacos(duh)

"Yep, forever and ever!" Nny bit down on his taco.

"That sounds nice, I never had a friend..." said Gaara.

"Yeah, same here." Johnny bit once more on his taco. Gaara of course, never ate a taco, because they didn't have something like that in Suna. Gaara picked up his drink and slurped it up, it was some kind of cherry flavor. "Mmm...what is this?" Gaara asked,

"It's Cherry FizWiz." said Nny, "The finest of the fine, shall we get going?" Johnny and Gaara got out of Taco Smell, and made there way to Konoha. You see Gaara has to stay there for a bit, don't ask why because I don't know.

Anyway, they just arrived at Konoha, all bright and sunny. It was really ugh! For Nny and Gaara that is. "So I like to watch the stars, and you like to watch the moon?" asked Nny

"That's correct..."

"Awesome! You and I also don't sleep!"

"Yep."

"It's so funny of how much we have in common,"

"Hey Gaara!" Someone called for him, Gaara's sibs, Kankuro and Temari were waving to them from afar.,they came toward Gaara and Nny. "Huh? Who's your friend?" asked Kankuro.

"Im am Johnny, but you can call me Nny." He said, "and who might you be?"

"Im Kankuro"

"And Im Temari,"

"Nice to meet you all, Im am your brother's new BFF!"

"BFF?" asked Kankuro,

"It means 'Best Friend Forever'" said Temari,

"I know what it means!" Kankuro turned to Johnny, "But since when did Gaara get a best friend?"

"Since yesterday." answered Johnny, "I captured him, and was about to kill him, but I decided not to, not till I saw how much me and him, had in common." Johnny grinned, Kankuro and Temari just stared at him, like he was some kind of freak.

"Uh, Ok?" Temari cleared her throat. "Well shall we get going..."

'Yes!" They all made their way to the hotel room that they were staying in, when they ran into Naruto and his team. They were out on a walk, and Naruto was jumping and doing stuff all over places, while singing all eagerly.

"Who's that?" asked Johnny, and Naruto heard him. He stopped singing and dancing while walking and turned to Johnny.

"Im Naruto Uzumaki! Im gonna be hokage next day, believe it!"

"Believe what?" said Johnny with one brow raised.

"It! Believe it!"

"I don't get it! What's it!?"  
"Hokage!"

"So this _Hokage_ is an it? Hmm, I thought it was a boy."

"No, no!" said a girl with short pale pink hair, "Naruto's just stupid!" Naruto looked at her sourly,"The Hokage is the leader of our village, and she is a girl." The pink hair girl threw in a little bow, "By the way, Im Sakura Haruno,"

"Nice to meet you Sakura, Naruto..." Johnny bowed back, "Im Johnny C. But please call me Nny, and who is this?" He looked over to a boy in blue, and had black hair, with long bangs.

"This is Sasuke," said Sakura, "Sasuke Uchiha,"

But Sasuke all did was a "Hm," sound.

"Not much of a talker, are you Sasuke?" said Nny, but Sasuke didn't say anything.

"Hello! I was talking to you!" But still Sasuke didn't answer, so Johnny began to twitch. "Y-you know, it's very _rude_ not to respond." Johnny got in close to Sasuke, a nasty look on his face.

"So..." Sasuke finally said, but said rather rudely.

"S-so, I guess Im just gonna have to--" Johnny pulled out a long knife, "KILL YOU!!!!"

Well that's it, wait till next time!


	3. Chapter 3 Ramen w Cherry FizWiz

I do **NOT** own Johnny the Homicidal Maniac and Naruto. Go fuck yourselves! I-I mean, enjoy the story...heh

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-----Chapter 3. Ramen with a Large Cherry FizWiz Please!----- 

"KILL YOUUU---Nah Im just playing!" Johnny began to laugh his head off, Sasuke stared at him, with a pale and terrified look. But why was that? Hmmm, I don't know, maybe it's because Nny was holding a _REAL_ Knife, that was close to Sasuke's tip of the nose.

"I would kill the friends of my new BFF!"

"Those aren't my friends..." said Gaara,

"Really? Then can I kill them?"

"NO!!!" Sakura yelled, waving her arms around. "No one's killing anyone!!" She knelled down on the ground panting.

"You have issues..." said Nny,

"Why you!!" Sakura got and was about to punch him, when Naruto stopped her.

"No Sakura, leave him alone."

"But-but, he..." Sakura looked angerly at Naruto, who shook his head at her. "Fine!" She grumbled and crossed her arms across her chest.

"Say Nny..." Naruto turned to him, with a silly grin on his face. "I thought that we get to know each other a little better, what do you say?" Naruto continued grinning as Nny just questioned in head,

"Um...I rather not, I want to be with my BFF." He said,

"Oh come!" Naruto's grin faded into a begging looking face, "You can have more than _one_ BFF, PLLLLLEASSSSEE!!!!" Naruto clapped his hands together and shook them, "Pretty Please!" Johnny looked at the begging Naruto, then back at Gaara and his sibs.

"If it's ok with Gaara..." Johnny looked over at Gaara, who nodded.

"I guess..." said Gaara.

"Alright!" Naruto grabbed Nny's hand and to him to his favorite ramen place...of course.

"I'll start by showing you around town..." said Naruto, enter the ramen place. "Then we can go to other places, but first! Im starving!" Johnny and Naruto sat down, and ordered.

"The usual please!" Naruto said,

"Coming right up!" said the chef dude, "What about you?" He looked over at Johnny.

"...What do ya sell?" asked Johnny,

"...Ramen, duh!"

"Oh, then I'll have some ramen!"

"Coming right up!"

"With a large Cherry FizWiz!"

"A what?"

"A Cherry FizWiz, you know..."

"Nah-No I don't..."

"What!? You don't know what the fuck a cherry FizWiz is!?" Johnny stood on the table, and stared down at the Chef, "You must some kind of idiot to not know what a Cherry FizWiz is!!"

"Nny clam down!" Naruto yelled,

"No! It's ruined, it's already ruined! And this _chef_ must punish for it!" Johnny grabbed him by the shirt and got out that same knife. "PUNISH!--"

"Here's your ramen with a large Cherry FizWiz!" Said some waitress, as she handed Nny his food.

"Oooooh Wheeee! Cherry FizWiz with some noodles! NOODLE, HAPPY NOODLE BOY!" Johnny sucked up his ramen, while Naruto and Chef started at him with their mouths opened.

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Ok That was a little short, but I didn't really know what to add, so yeah. See you next time, or you die! I MEAN IT! I'LL SEND THE EVIL CULT OF MONKEYS TO KILL YOU! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP! YES!!! 


	4. Chapter 4 Sasuke VS Nny

**I...ugh! You get the fucking point it's the same thing over and over again, disclaimer and all that :P**

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----Chapter 4, Sasuke vs Johnny,----

"So that's what happened?" Shikamaru asked, as Him, Chouji, Neji, Lee, Kiba, and Naruto all sat in one group.

"Yep! He threatened to kill the chef. Just cuz he didn't know what a 'Cherry FizWiz' was."

"Did he kill the chef?" asked Kiba,

"Nope, he got what he wanted..." said Naruto,

"Of course someone like Gaara would make a friend like Johnny." Chouji said, scarfing down some chips. "Do you think that someone like Johnny can _really _kill someone?"

((Author's Note: Yes...))

"Did...you hear that?" Naruto said, paranoid and looking everywhere, but the rest of the crew just ignored him,

"Well, how else are we gonna do something about this guy," said Kiba, stroking Akamaru's ears.

"Guys, really, someone said something!" again no one pay attention to Naruto.

"We got to find out more about him..." Neji said, "Like where he lives, how he grew up...you know, stuff like that." Everyone agree with him, all exept Shikamaru, who said, "How freakin troublesome..." The guys got up, and went toward outside,

"Gee! Guys seriously! I heard something!!!" Naruto yelled after them, he went along and followed them to find Johnny C.

((Author's Note: The little idiot will never find out about me! Mwahahahahaha...wait...WTF!? What are you doing here!? Get out! The story, you're missing the story!))

_Ahem!_ Anyway, we join as our little heros explore Johnny's house. But the door was locked, so they had to find a way to open the windows to get inside.

"What are you doing?" asked some little boy, Naruto turned to see him, and he was holding some sort of torn up teddy bear.

"Shmee told me that there were _bad_ people here, and I didn't know he was right!" The little boy's eyes filled with tears.

"Oh no!" Yelled Neji, all uh, hold on...**(begin to count how many guys are there) **six guys were trying so hard to calm the little boy down. They did it by waving there arms in the air, panicing, and yelling out : "Holy shit, noooo! Don't cry! Shut up! Don't make me get the belt!!!" Soon the little boy calmed down, and all he made was a tiny weird _squee_ noice.

"That's your name? Squee..." said Naruto

"No, my name is Todd,"

"That's what I said, Squee,"

"No, Todd."

"Suzie."

Todd/Squee stared at Naruto, just give out a sigh, and cut to the point. "What are you doing here?" he asked,

"We're here to find out more info on this Nny guy,"

"Nny!? Johnny, nooo!" Todd/Squee hugged Naruto's legs, and began to sob. "Nooooo...ooo...oh! You can't! He will kills joo!" Todd/Squee sobbed louder, "NOOOO! Mommy! MOMMY!!!"

"Im ignoring you!!" A woman yelled, from what looks like Todd/Squee's house.

"Get this kid off of me!" Naruto yelled, and Kiba grabbed ahold of a crying and squirming Todd/Squee. "WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"

"Oh my god! Someone help the little boy!" Some lady yelled, then two officers popped out of nowhere,

"Hey!" They yelled, and they ran after the six boys...it's six right? Yeah...

Naruto and the rest ran away, far far away. No Im talking about the Far far away in the fairy tails and the Shrek movie. Hmm, but let's see what our good buddy, Nny is up to, while Naruto and the other idiots are being chased by cops.

"Hmm..." while he was looking through some old books at the Konoha Bookstore. "These poems are so...disgusting!" Johnny put the book away, and crossed his arms. "Nothing but poems about the _hokages_, and soup!" Johnny made his way out of the store. "I wonder where my BFF is..." Johnny cupped his hands over his mouth, "Gaara! Oh buddy!" Johnny wondered into town, looking for Gaara.

Meanwhile, let's see what out Jounin are doing...

"Hey Kakashi, take a look at this..." said Gai, as he held a comic book in his hand.

"Huh? Happy Noddle Boy?" Kakashi read a few things, and before you knew it, he was laughing his head off. "This is good!" He said,

"Real good?" said Gai,

"Yep, real good..."

"Better than Icha Icha Paradise?"

"Not that good..." Our little Kakashi then threw the comic back at him, "That Noodle boy reminds me alot of my late, late, late wife..."

"You were married?" asked Gai, as he put away his book.

"Yep, her name was...Paula, or, Petunia, or was it Paige? I don't know..."

Anyway, back to our other little hero, Johnny. He wondered off to some forest, and he came near a quiet bubbling brook. "Shit! It's nasty!" Nny yelled, at the brook. "You suck! SUCK!!!"

"What the hell are you yelling at?" asked someone, Nny looked behind him to see Sasuke.

"You!! Are you friends with this water that smells like flowers, yet looks like pee?"

"Un, no..." said Sasuke,

"Then what the fuck do you want!?"

"I want to know why you are here..."

"None of your fucking beeswax!!!" Sasuke started to get angry, he grabbed Johnny by the shirt, "I don't like your tone!" he said,

"Grr! Take your ugly hands off of me!" Johnny yelled,

"Make me!"

"I will!!"

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**Well, I don't know if that was as short as the others, I hope not, but hoped you liked it:)**

**Or not...whatever's fine...I love you! **_**(Sob)**_


	5. Chapter 5 Girl in danger! No one cares

**I do not own...blah blah blah, you get the point. Read or Die, No I don't mean the anime...**

**READ OR FUCKING DIE BITCH!!! XD  
**

----Chapter 5,----

"WHAAAAAAAA!!!!!" yelled our little Todd/Squee, "I-I-I...I want my mommy!" He continued sobbing and crying, Lee tried to cheer him up.

"Don't cry, please! I'll give you candy." Rock Lee looked around his pockets, but he couldn't find anything that will be a enjoyment to a little kid. Todd/Squee was waiting for his treat. "Eh, Never mind..." Lee said, and Todd/Squee just continued to cry.

"Damn, there's gotta be something that the kid will like!" Shikamaru said, covering his ears.

"I want my mommy!!" cried Squee,

"Your mommy hates you!!" yelled Shikamaru, but that made everything worse.

----Meanwhile, to Sasuke and Johnny. 

"I will!!" Johnny got out big ass machete, Johnny swang it towards Sasuke's head, but he only blocked it away.

"_Now_ you want to kill me?" said Sasuke, with a smirk,

"Shut the fuck up!" Johnny knee Sasuke on his stomach, making him fall and cough.

"Ugh!" Sasuke held his stomach, as Johnny got out his machete again, and held it up Sasuke's head.

"Now die!!" Johnny was about to hack his head up, till he heard a scream that is. "The fuck?" He looked over some random street, to hear it again. "Hey get over here!" Johnny grabbed Sasuke by his hair, and dragged Sasuke with him. "You hear that?"  
"Hear what?"

"That scream..."

"I hear no scream..."

"Are you deaf, idiot! Listen closely!" Sasuke did as he told, only because Johnny yanked his hair more causing him pain...pansy.

_Ahem!_ Anyway, Sasuke listened in more closely, and heard that same scream.

"A woman?"

"HELP ME!!!!!"

"We got to help her!" Sasuke yelled, getting free from Johnny's grip.

"No!" Johnny grabbed Sasuke by the hair again, "I'll save her after I kill you!"

"You idiot, we won't have time!"

"We do if you hold still!!" Johnny tried to hack him up again, but Sasuke just dodges it, while running away from him. The thing is, that Sasuke is still ahold of Johnny, so it was like a dog chasing his tail.

**----To Todd/Squee, Naruto, and his crew.**

Todd/Squee was still crying, and well for Naruto and his people, they just straight out gave up. They were all at the training grounds, just laying on the grass and dirt, while Todd/Squee continued to cry. "M-mommy, D-daddy!!"

Shikamaru began to snore, drowning the noise of Todd/Squee's crying, but only making more noise of the rest of the guys.

"We are bad babysitters..." said Lee, covering his ears.

"Who said we were babysitting this little kid!" Neji said,

Finally, Akamaru, Kiba's dog, toddled over to Todd/Squee, and licked his palm.

"Akamaru, what are you--"

"Shh! Look!" Naruto grabbed the hand that Kiba was gonna use to collect his dog, and saw as the little boy began to clam down.

"_Woof! woof!_" said the little puppy to the our little Squee. The uh, hold on **(Counts to see how many guys there are...again) **the six boys watched as Squee sniffled and finally, a big smile spread across his face.

"Doggy!" He hugged Akamaru, then created a group hug, as he scooped up Shmee, his bear. "You're so nice, doggy..." he said,

"Finally, this brat stopped crying..." said Shikamaru, but he ended up being slapped behind his head by Neji

"Be nice, Shikamaru."

----To Johnny and Sasuke

"Goddamnit! Get over here!!" Johnny yelled as Sasuke was hiding from him, under a bush. Johnny stabbed the bush with his machete, "GOT YOU!!!...Huh?" Johnny saw that instead of Sasuke, he stabbed a log. "The fuck...?"

"I got you!" Sasuke grabbed Johnny from behind, and held a kunai near his throat. "Drop your weapon!"

"Never!" Johnny knocked the kunai from Sasuke's hand, and straggled to get him off his back. But Sasuke held on tight, and now it was like someone giving someone else some sort of retarded piggyback ride.

"I'LL KILL YOU!!!" Johnny yelled,

"SHUT UP!!!" Sasuke yelled back, and while these guys were busy trying to fight one another, that same screaming girl, was now screaming even more with absolute terror. Which means she's either getting raped or killed.

**That's enough! For now...so if you actually read this thing, well...then wait for the next one, mmkay?**

**...Im gonna get some ice cream...**


	6. Chapter 6 Happy Noodle boy

**You know the freakin drill...**

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---Chapter 6. ZOMG it's Happy Noodle Boy!!---

"Get off of meeeeee!!" Johnny yelled, Sasuke still on his back, with the whole retarded piggyback ride.

"Would you two stop it!!" Someone yelled, Johnny and Sasuke stood still, as a puff of smoke flashed out of nowhere. Out came a old dude, really old. He was standing on top of a frog and holding some random girl, who was unconscious. "You two really sicken me, ignoring a girl who was getting killed and/or raped."

"Jiraiya?" Sasuke said,

"Yup, it's me..." Jiraiya, the pervy sage, dropped the girl into the ground, and she fell on her head. "Don't worry, she'll be fine...heheh," Jiraiya said, with a pervy smile.

"Who's the old guy?" asked Johnny, as Sasuke finally got off his back.

"That's one of the legendary Sanin, Jiraiya."

"...Legendary what?" said Johnny with a blank face.

"Sanin."

"A whatchamacallit?"

"Sanin..."

"Sammy?"

"No...Sanin,"  
"A what now?" Sasuke stared blankly at Johnny's face, and he gave up, and decided not talk to anymore.Then someone, yelled something out, someone...something...

"COCK SHIT!!!!!" This someone yelled, out of nowhere came a_reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaallly _skinny dude...maybe that's because he was a stick figure. Anyway, he was caring some sort of box, and yelling more nonsense. "FUCKING A! NEED AIR, SHIT, YOU JEALOUS OF MY HUMONGOUS COCK!!!! YOU ARE!!! BOW DOWN AND OBEY MEE!!!!" The stick figure, who seemed to look familiar to Johnny, put the box down and climb on it.

"FUCK!!! YOU ARE ALL UGLY AND STUPID, I AM BETTER THAN YOU FUCKERS!!!!! NOW WIPE MY ASS, OR YOU DIEEE!!!"

"Who the hell is this?" asked Jiraiya, as the stick figure man continued to yell.

"Happy Noodle boy..." Johnny answered,

"Who now..."

"My comic book character...who knew he come to live..."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, YOU'RE UGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Happy Noodle boy yelled, pointing at Sasuke, who was making a face. "AND YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!" he yelled, pointing at some dead bird laying near by. "FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKK!!!!"

"Someone, shut him up!!!" Sasuke yelled,

"Hey you!" Jiraiya yelled to Happy Noodle boy, "Shut the hell up, or I'll kill you!!"

"...Fuck you!" Jiraiya clenched his teeth, he got soooooooooooo mad! That he grabbed a Kunai, and threw it to Happy Noodle boy's head. You see HNB was standing next to a tree, so when Jiraiya threw that thing, the kunai stuck to the tree, making HNB stuck to the tree too.

"Damn!" Sasuke yelled, "You just killed someone!"

"Yeah..."

"But, but...uh, you...never mind."

"Don't worry..." said Johnny, Sasuke and Jiraya turned there looks at him. "He'll come back to live, he always do..." This is the point where you hear dramatic music. "In fact, there he is now..." He pointed up the sky, where the same stick figure was falling.

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" But then they heard a _thud_ when Happy Noodle boy hit the ground.

"He's dead again..." Sasuke said,

"I know...but there he is again." Johnny pointed afar from there they were, and there was Happy Noodle boy, standing in a gaint hill, and waving to them...till he got attacked by wolves.

"I didn't know there were wolves here..." Jiraiya said,

"Happy Noodle boy!" Johnny yelled, as again Happy Noodle boy was coming along, but then a tree fell on him.

And well, Jiraiya, Sasuke, and Johnny just stood there, while Happy Noodle boy kept coming to live and dying...over and over again...and over again...and over again...

**---To Naruto and the other five boys**

"So the little kid stop crying," Shikamaru told Naruto, as the two of them were just walking around. While the rest of the guys took care of Squee. "Now we take him back to his home..."

"SHIT!!! FUCK YOU, AND YOU'RE STUPID UGLY FACE, YOU JEALOUS OF MY HUGE...HEAD!!" Shikamaru and Naruto stoped walking when they saw a_rrrrrrreeeeeaaaaaalllyy_ skinny stick figure dude, standing on top of a box, yelling at everyone.

"Huh?" Naruto and Shikamaru walked up to the stick figure guy, "Who are you?" asked Naruto,

"Huh?" The stick figure look down on both of them. "Who the fuck are you!!??" He yelled,

"But we asked you first..."

"Shut the hell up!" said the stick...figure.

"Geez, what's your problem...?"

"GAHHH!!" The stick figure stepped down, and ran to Shikamaru and Naruto. But then something happened, a car came out of nowhere and hit the stick figure. Not to mention that the car was a cherry red, hot ass Ferrari! The boys stared down at the car that was riding off.

"What the hell was that?" asked Shikamaru,

"I don't know, I think it's one of those 'cars'." said Naruto

"Hm...I'd do that."

"Yep, me too!"

"I do in it too."

"Same here..." The two boys then walked off, and forgot all about the stick figure, who was now terrorizing Sakura and Ino, but who cares about that!

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**Sorry this one took long, it's only cuz Im in writer's block, but be lucky this is finished!! BE LUCKY!!!!**


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